Greetings, soon-to-be-brainwashed Internet dweller! This is your handsome master, the great and all-powerful Neo Cortex, here to bring you up to speed about my amazing web site (and, by extension, that pathetic orange furball's as well).
If you've never been here before (or you've been zapped one too many times in the ol' brainovial hyperbarium), it will interest you to know that this place contains information about all of my scientific triumphs and victories over Crash Bandicoot.
Returning visitors will surely have noticed the slick new layout. Stunning, isn't it? Almost as much as yours truly. And that's not all — I've arranged for all of the text to be rewritten, and the images have been refitted for high definition as well. It's amazing what a little motivation can do sometimes. And by motivation I mean persuasion. And by that I mean ray gun.
There is still some missing content here and there, but I assure you that my minions are taking care of it as we speak. Thanks to a series of ridiculous contraptions, you can check the current progress below. If all goes well, after you've read enough pages, you will be under my command and ready to assist me in world domination (or you'll join Ripper Roo in the looney bin, but your life will improve either way).
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an evil laboratory to attend to.